Sunday, June 13, 2004

Can Life get any more Hard...

i want to first start off by apologizing about a few things....first of all..this blog probably will go against all rules of the english...but i do not really care right now cause i need to express my thoughts. secondly, i have to apologize about not writing a blog in the past couple of days...there are times when your hands just do not move anymore..but no worries they are moving now..lol...so lets start i wrote the last blog describing my trip back to the united kingdom...well things just get worse don't they...at my firm, we have process called laddering where they rank all the employees of the same level...so all the analyst are rated against one another ...similar to college ranking ...except this has more actions following it including raises and such ...so of course management is so F**** up they forget to give me laddering results cause i had change scopes or phases...so finally i asked the head manager and she apologizes and all but that is white trash for you ...everything is so fake...i am probably saying all this cause i am still so bitter...so finally my direct manager has a discussion with me and of course this is where true reality of different cultures emerges...he is a german a strict one too ...he has a different scope of a typical work life compares to americans...and they are so much more sarcastic not even funny..their jokes seem more insulting than funny ...so he tells my rating which i am totally fine with cause that is what people get within my level but what pissed me off was the rank ....i am not going to say cause i am not happy with it at all after all the stuff i do ..true that i do things with my own willingness but that is not mean it does not recognized...shit i am far more knowlegdeable than half the bloody people...and basically this firm is F**** hypocrite..tell us to express your feelings and then tell us to be fake...what the hell...you are not really allowed to express how you feel..true you should take everything as concrete criticism...but not everything is possible at that point...i was on the verge on crying /yelling at that point but i have gained much control...i think this freaking bloody corporate world is going to teach me how to be patient with life and with people the most.....no wonder i drink so much tea during the day...i love my job do not get me wrong ..it challenges me and i need that ...but i did not know people are like that ...i just did not understand how people that do not know me can be able to rank me...they do not 100% of what i do and how i do it...oh well i am going to use all this to become a better person...i swear ......okay so that was thursday ...friday was not such a bad day as i had a good night's sleep ...so took it pretty easy on friday and was able to talk mr. c at night and also just surf the internet for deals like i been planning on doing...but before i forgot to mention how the top executive had pulled me and arjun in for software that was being tracked on our desktops...so tell me something ...how can i be puilled for software that i have not used in months or weeks ...yet other people that use that same damn thing on a daily basis are not pulled in...is it cause my name is easy to get ....it seems as though this client is following all net activity ...but i have come to know that other actions by other people have caused this check up...let me tell you what this software is..it is trillian..the application that consolidates all messaging service...what the hell it is free and available on download.com..the other software that arjun was pulld in for me iPOD software that is also free...i do not understand all this ..it is as if i am trying to make sense of everything..but this is good i am getting a look at all this first hand and i come out of my little dilly dally happy go lucky shell..:)...
back to friday ...friday was normal called it a early night and to get ready for a busy day in london the next day ...saturday wake up and talked to mr. c for about an hour and then got ready and went to breakfast...though before getting ready i had to hang up on mr. c cause time was ticking and we were just not able to hang up like normal people do ....so saturday i decided to go to the swaminarayan mandir in neasden , london...and it took foreever to look for it but when i finally found it ...it wa so worth it ...the mandir is just beautiful and well worth the trip...there is so much security at the place though ...well that is okay i can understand after i went through it ..the people are very friendly there too...i wound up buying all this ayurvedic stuff that i hope it helps cause i really need to have a better control on weight , stress, and muscle joints and all that .....i will let ya know after a week or so...so then i decided that i wanted to go greenwich doclands...which is about 5 miles from london...and this place is really nice...i took a ferry down there and it was just beautiful...i wish i had done it sooner...stupidly though most of the places were closed there...such things as the national maritime museum and the royal observatory......but i did see the cutty sark...which is a ship and it was very cute quite different from all the other ships i have seen like the vasa and the hms belfast...so i decided to go this noodle place after looking at all the other places in area...everything seemed fine with the food and all and had my japanese tea with it ...until i came down feeling i was going to throw up and had a headache..which really sucked...before i forget as i am looking for the mandir on saturday this desi guy sees me with a map to find this temple and stops and tries to give me directions and then says why don;t you hop in i can give you a ride...what the hell i am not going to go off with some stranger...but it is okay i followed GOD's route to GOD...so on saturday evening i was supposed to hang out with a few people..but i did not feel so hot and all the plans did not happen anyway so it is good thing caause i do not feel so bad...so today is sunday and i am seating in the executive lounge of my hotel writing this blog...this morning it was so funny ordering breakfast was certainly a project..they kept forgetting some of the things that i had ordered and kept wanting to charge me for it seriously..but it is okay it happens i am not gonna go and yell or anything ... i should go out today and i think i will probably for a walk or even run..need to get into shape and seriously..

till next time...

1 comment:

kRiS said...

Oh no dimpsey had a rotten few days..it ok …kinki will come and snuggle with u in sept..have no fear ..it’s all gonna be fine…